Holding Out For King Charming

by | Apr 29, 2013 | Church Leadership, Church Planting

I have been teaching women for almost 40 years. I’ve seen it all, the joy and the heartache. I’ve seen what happens when they are influenced more by the world than by the Scripture. And, I’ve seen the changes in their lives when they come under the teaching of the Word.
Here’s a tongue and cheek look at how far we’ve come, written by my daughter, Susan Minton.



eye-examAre you planning for the life you are supposed to live, or are you going to put up with the second-hand, boring family life that women have accepted for centuries?

In this wonderful, post-modern world there’s no longer a need for you to accept the traditional role that the Judeo-Christian ethic has forced on women for thousands of years! You don’t have to settle for being a wife and mother! Feminists tell u
s that the “barefoot and pregnant” stereotype is a thing of the past, because there is a better way! You can spend your life alone!

Why should you choose to work a job as well as care for a family when you can live only for yourself? Why should you stay at home and let a husband pay the bills when you are more than capable of making money on your own? You can compete with men for those high octane, high paying career positions! You can bring home the bacon, not just fry it up in a pan! Once you get that bacon home, you don’t have to cater to anyone else’s needs – you only have to worry about yourself! You don’t have to fuss over a husband, a messy house or crying babies; just enjoy the order, peace and quiet that the single life brings.

The secrets to remaining single are simple:

Be extremely exclusive about the men whom you date. Always remember that you are perfection itself, and that all the men you meet have a litany of flaws. Tell yourself that you would be willing to marry if you found the perfect man – you have just not located him yet. Anyone less than Prince Charming will not do. Actually, since Prince Charming is not in charge, maybe you should hold out for King Charming! In the meantime you are focusing on your profession.

builderUnderstand that it takes time to build a career. Take the next ten, fifteen, even twenty years after school and become the working woman you want to be. Date if you want to, but don’t forget the goal – you want to maximize your earning power so that you can take care of yourself! Make sure that the only men you go out with have busy lives, so that neither of you has time for one another. This way you won’t need to date anyone for very long, and it guarantees that all relationships will remain superficial. What could be easier?

Keep your job in its proper place – numero uno! If you can manage to keep your career front and center until you are in your late thirties to early forties, you have an even greater chance of retaining the single lifestyle! By that time you probably won’t need to worry about being too exclusive about dating, since most of the eligible men are married. This makes singleness even less complicated, so keep up the good work!

Belittle men as frequently as possible, and be sure to surround yourself with other career-minded singles who do the same. This will help you feel superior, and that is always useful if you should ever waver in your determination to remain single. If you are self-important you have no need for affirmation by anyone else!

masonIt is also beneficial to make fun of women who have made the (naturally) substandard choice of marriage and family. Look down your nose at the mothers who both work and take care of a family (a choice that makes them work 24 hours a day) as well as the stay-at-home moms (they haven’t read anything more complicated than a picture book in years). Rejoice that when you go home you don’t have to deal with the pettiness of runny noses and boo boos! Revel in the idea that you are not subject to the needs of a husband! These types of reminders are especially critical, as you need to stress the joys of unfettered and carefree singleness to yourself on a regular basis. Don’t forget, it is always better to be alone!

If your willpower starts to wane, you can always get bolstered up by the usual sources: television, movies, social media and radio. These outlets invariably tout the supremacy of singlehood while mocking all things traditional. Whatever you do, avoid happily married women, families, parks and churches, as those can cause you to doubt your lifestyle choice.

Remember, girls, you don’t have to lead the life others expect you to lead! You can choose for yourself!

Galatians 5:1 – It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.




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