Really Reach People: It’s Not About Your Light Show

Can we have an honest conversation? Like, brutally honest?

The people we’re trying to reach aren’t interested in our church announcements, our perfectly polished programs, or that sweet new light show we just installed. (Though I’ll admit, those lights are pretty cool.)

Here’s the deal: The unchurched and de-churched folks in your community aren’t sitting at home thinking, “Man, I really wish I could find a church with better parking.” They’re carrying real hurts, asking real questions, and looking for real authenticity.

The Ghost of Church Past

For the de-churched (those who used to attend but bounced), church often feels like that awkward ex you run into at the grocery store. They’ve got baggage – sometimes really heavy baggage. Maybe they were hurt by religious people, disappointed by unanswered prayers, or just burnt out on what felt like a performance-based relationship with God.

And the unchurched? For them, church is like that weird hobby your neighbor has that you don’t really get. They’re not against it; they just don’t see how it connects to their actual life.

So What’s the Move?

After planting several churches and making about a million mistakes (okay, maybe a slight exaggeration), here’s what I’ve learned works:

1. Stop Being Weird

Seriously. Just be a normal human being. Jesus was incredibly normal with people – he ate with them, laughed with them, and met them where they were. You don’t need to pepper every conversation with “praise the Lord” or turn every coffee meeting into a revival service.

2. Listen More Than You Talk

The de-churched especially have stories they need to tell. Let them vent about their church hurts without jumping in to defend the institution. Their feelings are valid, even if their conclusions might be off.

3. Create Safe Spaces for Doubt

Want to know what’s killing the church faster than TikTok? Our allergy to questions. When someone asks why God allows suffering, they don’t need a theological treatise – they need permission to wrestle with hard things in community.

4. Show, Don’t Tell

Your community (and even some within the church family) needs to see faith working in real life before they care about your doctrine. When your small group shows up to help a single mom move, that preaches louder than your most fire sermon ever could.

A casserole speaks louder than a sermon when someone’s world is falling apart.

5. Rethink Your “Front Door”

Maybe your first interaction with people shouldn’t be a worship service. What if it was a community cleanup project? Or a support group? Or just a really great cup of coffee and genuine conversation?

The Secret Sauce

Want to know what actually works? Love. Not the cheesy, Hallmark movie kind. The messy, inconvenient, I’ll-help-you-move-on-a-Saturday kind of love.

The unchurched and de-churched aren’t projects to be completed or numbers to be added to your yearly report. They’re people who need to experience the kind of authentic community that makes them say, “There’s something different here.”

Here’s The Bottom Line

Reaching people far from God isn’t about having the right program or the perfect words. It’s about creating spaces where people can belong before they believe, where questions are welcomed, and where grace is the default response.

Always Remember: Jesus’ harshest words were for the religious elite, and his most gracious words were for those on the outside looking in. Maybe we should follow his lead on that one.

Btw – If you’re reading this and you’ve been hurt by the church – I’m sorry. Your hurt is valid, and your story matters. There’s room for you here, questions and all.