When Scaffolding People Leave
by Steve Sjogren
Every church plant is built by people who may not be there when the work is finished. That is one of church planting’s deepest pains: watching people you have prayed with, dreamed with, served alongside, and trusted with the work begin to leave.
But their leaving does not mean their contribution was temporary or unimportant. It may mean they helped hold the structure together long enough for it to stand on its own.
Human Scaffolding
I’ve come to think of them as human scaffolding—people God brings around a growing church to provide the framework it needs to rise. Scaffolding is essential to the construction, but it isn’t the building.
The same is true in a church plant. People join at different stages, bringing gifts, resources, relationships, vision, energy, and passion. Some stay for the entire journey. Those people are rare and precious. But many eventually move on.
They may have completed what they came to do, discovered a new calling, outgrown their role, or simply entered a different season of life. Often, the most enthusiastic people are the most likely to leave. Highly motivated people carry visions of their own; when those visions no longer align with the church’s direction, they may need to go.
That doesn’t mean they failed, and it doesn’t mean you failed. It may simply mean the scaffolding has done its job.
How Should You Respond When People Leave?
The question is not whether you should respond, but how.
If there is a misunderstanding, talk about it. Listen carefully, clarify what needs clarifying, and respond with both conviction and grace.
But if someone is simply meant to move on, one question brings freedom:
Whose People Were They Anyway?
They were never mine.
They were God’s.
I remember standing in a large electronics store in Cincinnati when I recognized the Archbishop of Cincinnati nearby. He recognized me too.
“Oh,” he said, “you’re the Vineyard pastor.”
Then he smiled and asked, “You have a lot of our people, don’t you? When are you going to send them back?”
This was years ago, but I remember what I said: Oh, I’m not sure how to do that, I don’t see them as mine Father.”
They belonged to God.
At best, I was a steward—someone who could encourage, protect, equip, and walk with them for a season. I could never own them.
That Understanding Changes Everything
That understanding changes everything when someone leaves.
Instead of thinking, “I’m losing one of my people,” I can think, “God is continuing to lead one of His people.”
That does not eliminate grief. Love makes departure painful. When someone has shared years of life and ministry with you, their absence leaves a hole.
But grief and possessiveness are not the same.
The goal is to love people deeply enough that their future matters to you, even when it no longer includes your church.
One of Leadership’s Great Disciplines
That is one of leadership’s great disciplines. We build something that belongs to God, not to us. People come alongside us for a season—sometimes for decades, sometimes for a lifetime. We receive their gifts with gratitude, give them room to grow, and bless them when they go.
A Simple Practice for Releasing People Well
A simple practice can help make that release tangible.
Meet with departing people personally, thank them specifically for what they gave, ask whether there is anything that needs to be repaired or clarified, and pray a blessing over their next season. Then communicate their departure honestly and graciously to the church, honoring their contribution without creating pressure to stay.
Finally, release them without requiring continued access, loyalty, or explanation.
We Place Them Back Into God’s Hands
And then, when the time comes, we release them—not because they matter less, but because they matter too much to hold.
We place them back into the hands of the God who entrusted them to us in the first place. We trust that the One who led them here will lead them onward, and that no distance, change, or ending can place them outside His care.
When the Scaffolding Comes Down
When the scaffolding comes down, we do not cling to it or curse it for leaving. We give thanks for what it helped us build, bless the people who helped build it, and entrust them to God.
The church was never ours to possess. The people were never ours to keep. They were always His. Releasing them is one of the ways we learn to love them as He does.
Steve Sjogren – SteveSjogren.com
About the author
Steve Sjogren
Steve Sjogren is widely regarded as the father of servant evangelism — the idea that small acts of kindness, done consistently and without strings attached, can change a church, a community, and eventually the world. He is the founding pastor of Vineyard Community Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, which he and his wife Janie launched with a group of five people — eventually growing to over 7,000 weekly attenders across seven weekend services.
His first book, Conspiracy of Kindness, has sold over 300,000 copies and has been translated into several languages. Today he writes, speaks, and mentors church planters around the world.
