Leading Forward: Why Modeling Beats Pushing Every Time

by | Oct 2, 2025 | Church Health, Church Leadership | 0 comments

If you’re in the early stages of planting, you already know momentum is everything. You don’t have the luxury of long-term tradition, deep budgets, or established credibility. What you do have, though, is yourself—and that’s where the real power of leadership begins.

Here’s the truth: the people who follow your leadership will respond most to what you model, not what you say. Words matter, but example is what takes root. The culture of your church will be shaped far more by what you consistently do than by what you consistently teach.

 

Pulling vs. Pushing

 

There’s a huge difference between trying to push people from behind versus pulling them forward by example. Pushing rarely works for long. You might be able to guilt, hype, or pressure people into activity for a while, but it won’t last. Pulling, however, creates something sticky—an enduring culture that reproduces itself.

Think about it: when you see someone living something out with joy, conviction, and consistency, you don’t need a lecture. You want to step into it yourself.

 

A Lesson from Cincinnati

 

When we launched in Cincinnati, a congregation that ultimately grew to 6,000 in weekend attendance, the start was slow in church planting years.

As the planter, the first several years felt like pushing a car uphill by myself.

We had no budget to speak of, so “advertising” wasn’t an option. For more than a year, I tried all the clever tricks I could think of to get the city’s attention—and nothing stuck.

One morning, I remembered: the Kingdom of God has always advanced through serving, not selling. Jesus modeled it. The early church lived it. So we stopped trying to get attention and started being useful to our city.

The Kingdom of God always advances by serving, not selling.

We showed practical kindness. We gave instead of asking. We became conduits of God’s love and generosity in simple, reproducible ways. And here’s what happened—people asked questions. Curiosity grew. Conversations opened. Doors we could never have forced on our own began swinging wide.

 

Three Convictions for Planters

 

Lead with Kindness

 

When your church is tangibly useful to your city, people notice. They may not agree with your theology at first, but they can’t ignore genuine kindness. Kindness creates curiosity.

 

Model What You Want Multiplied

 

Pastor, what you do is what your people will also do. If you’re serving, they’ll serve. If you’re inviting neighbors, they’ll invite neighbors. If you’re holed up writing sermons but never engaging the community, don’t be surprised when your church drifts inward.

 

Do, Don’t Just Talk

 

Give up on trying to talk people into disciplines or practices. Just live them yourself. Tell stories as you go, but let the story start with your life. And here’s the key: make sure what you do has “handles”—that others can join in. If it’s not reproducible, it’s not worth building into your culture.

 

The Bottom Line

 

Your sermons and social posts may be powerful, but they’re incomplete until people can taste and see that the Lord is good. Modeling is what fills the gap.

So here’s the challenge: stop pushing. Start pulling. Live the culture you want multiplied. Serve in ways your people can join. Show the city what the Kingdom looks like in action.

Your example will do more to shape your church than your best-written vision statement ever could.

 

Read more blog posts by Steve Sjogren

 

Resources by Steve Sjogren:

overflow by steve sjogren and Dave Ping          church growth church health by Steve Sjogren          church health and ministry helps by Steve Sjogren

Read more articles on this topic: Church Leadership Archives – ChurchPlanting.com

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